


The Greatest Escape

by Velace



Series: The Emma Swan Problem [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Fluff, These two are so far beyond married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velace/pseuds/Velace
Summary: Family dinner. Snow is being gross, as per usual. Emma is out. Regina is an unwilling bystander, but she warms up to the idea.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Series: The Emma Swan Problem [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/857828
Comments: 14
Kudos: 153





	The Greatest Escape

**Author's Note:**

> I had an itch. It has now been scratched.

Regina can feel it happening as it happens, and right at the dinner table, in the middle of family dinner. Snow and David look on in dawning horror, Neal claps his hands excitedly, while her own children- bless every single one of them -let out a groan or sigh because they know she's going to be a nightmare for the next week, at least, after this.

With a loud, "Fuck," from her wife, they're both drawn into the portal Emma had conjured with her thoughts. Regina looks around, surprised that her wife can somehow still find new places to send them to after all these years.

However, surprise or no; she still hadn't been ready for another one of their adventures, and as nice as the hot spring they're standing in front of looks, she's still not ready for it. 

She sighs.

And demands.

"Where are we now?"

"No idea," Emma mumbles, gazing at the spring.

"Emma!"

She turns her head and frowns. "Why are you yelling? You know I can't control them."

Regina rolls her eyes. She does indeed know that, but they've been through this enough times now that Emma should know what she's asking. "What," she growls, "did you want badly enough that you opened a portal right at the damn dinner table?"

She's yelling by the end and trying very hard to ignore the way her heart clenches when Emma pouts. Unfortunately, Emma decides then to slip an arm around her waist and Regina can do nothing but melt into her embrace.

Her mother, she's certain, would be rolling over in her grave right about now.

"An escape."

Blinking, she glances at Emma's face and, seeing her grimace, she sympathizes. Snow had been regaling their youngest, James, with how her and Charming had met. Besides James, they'd all heard the story a hundred times or more. 

"I'll be the first to accuse your mother of being irritating," she concedes, "but this is a bit much."

"You don't like it?"

"Well..." Looking back at the spring, Regina has to concede once again. It does look nice- nice and inviting, and definitely a welcome alternative to putting up with her in-laws."It's... preferable to listening to your mother," she admits, though not without adding, "as most things are."

"What about when I do this?" Releasing her, Emma steps out in front of her and turns around. She begins loosening the buttons on her shirt as she questions, "Is this an improvement?"

Interest piqued, Regina watches every single button as, one by one, Emma frees them all until she's standing there, shirt open and revealing her very mouthwatering stomach and her gorgeous breasts.

"Maybe."

"Maybe, huh?"

She doesn't need to look to know Emma is smirking at her, ever so smug that she can still render Regina helpless when it comes to her libido. "Keep going," Regina murmurs, "and I might make up my mind."

"Come here."

"Not until you're naked," she denies, folding her arms as she looks up and meets Emma's stare. "You started this show, now you have to finish it."

"You drive a hard bargain, wife."

"That's not the only hard thing I'll be-"

"Please don't finish that," Emma interrupts with a snort. At Regina's frown, she explains as she strips down, "All of this time we've been married; enough of me has rubbed off on you that I'm going to start thinking I'm having sex with myself."

"That's called masturbation," Regina drawls, walking forward until she has Emma's lovely body in her arms. "Or self-cest," she adds with a kiss to pale, pink lips. "Both of which you're well acquainted with."

"Look, lady..." Emma kisses her back, trailing off as she softens Regina further with something slow and deep that never fails to have Regina's toes curling. When it ends, she finishes near breathlessly. "I draw the line at being married to myself."

"Wish I'd drawn that line."

"Mean," she laughs, "and while I'm naked too."

Regina hums, reminded of that fact herself as she starts to stroke and caress wherever her hands please. "That has often been your saving grace when it comes to divorcing you," she teases.

Grinning, Emma says, "I'd miss your cooking the most."

"Rude." Palming the cheeks of her ass roughly, Regina nips at her lower lip. "You'd be over every night," she husks, desire already pooling in the pit of her stomach. "You'd walk in the door after work, forgetting we're not married anymore, and I wouldn't have the heart to tell you to get the hell out."

"This is why I married you," Emma says, leaning back as she tugs Regina's shirt from her slacks.

"Hmm?"

"The razor blade laced candy," she explains, quickly opening all the buttons before she throws the shirt open and adds, "and your gorgeous rack, of course."

Regina chuckles. "Of course."

Kissing her again, this one lasts for a while. Piece by piece, Emma peels every scrap of fabric from Regina's body. With each loss, Regina feels those familiar hands all over, reaquainting them with skin still marked from their morning activities.

After a while, Emma mutters against her lips, "Wanna prune with me?"

"I intend on doing a lot more than that with you."

"Score." 

With another chuckle, Regina pulls out of her arms. "Idiot."

"You love me."

Winking, Emma struts over to the spring. Regina sighs, watching as some of the best parts of her wife disappear beneath the water. "Beyond all reason," she admits quietly before following her in.


End file.
